It is the following day. I havent been feeling all too well. I didnt sleep last night at all and had to go through a lot today. It seems like sleep deprivation did help with my depression. However, once I got enough sleep and woke up (from 3 - 8pm), it all came back to me. I don't feel like contacting my friends. Saying that, I am deciding to run a brief experiment; I am not trying to play with anyone, I just want someone to reach out to me. You could potentially say I seek attention and "portray" myself as some sort of scapegoat. But I will see how long it will take until someone's gonna reach out to me and say, "Hello, how are you?"
I have low expectations from this experiment. Once you are gone, you are gone. And its so rare for someone to actually show care, passion and love. People are ignorant enough not to take responsibility to say "I love you".
Our "progressive" thinking led us towards chaotic and spontaneous collisions of bodies, souls and no one wants to remember that, preserve that and care for that.
There are no hopeless romantics out there. I am lonely, and every time I d like to reach out, I am turned down.
It is very late, I am not sure if I am able to go to sleep this night as well. That is not good. At some point if my condition gets worse and worse, I 'd have to reach out for some serious medical help.Sometimes, shifts in mood can be extremely sudden and drastic.... it's scary, and I am so sorry for the people who are scared of me.
I ll definitely come back later tonight...
A.A.
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